Day 135 of 365

Hands

This was an interesting day. So many new things and experiences all swirling around inside this hospital space. If I’m honest, I could give you a new medical experience for the last 40+ days that would probably cover the entirety of the 365.

My focus on day 135 was on breathing and the comfort given by hands. Illness and disease create stress for everyone, those in crisis and those who support the person In crisis. An observation over the last weeks has been the constant touching that goes on out of necessity that does not involve tenderness. It gets lost in the realities of hospitalization.

My role has been one of support and today was like starting out all over again but something pretty wonderful happened.

On this 135th day my mother let me massage her hands and share calm breathing techniques.

This might have been more therapeutic for me than it was for her. I’ve been waiting for permission to give care and she has been surrounded by outstanding nurses and their assistants; all foreign hands taking care of needs. Until now she only wanted their care.

Today she finally asked for help from my untrained hands and I felt joy. I am certain she has no idea the strength it has given me. She has the ability to bring out the 10 year old child still lurking in my heart. Mom’s hands have been in a hospital for a while. Today they were so dry and with minimal words she asked for lotion. We talked about a hand massage I had a long time ago and how the therapist worked on every joint of each finger until my hands were soft and happy from the experience. Mom closed her eyes and let me work. We held hands for the longest time.

I love you mom

Day 135 was something I never imagined would be a part of my journey.

Love & Light